My horrible situation

I need to make a big change in my life. Living at home is creating too much anger and stress inside of me.

I was explaining my situation to a couple of friends last night. They were surprised at how horrible my life situation is. It is worse than anything they have ever dealt with. I would recount examples, but that will only make me feel worse.

I have had enough of this bunch of losers. My parents have had 31 years to teach my brother to be an adult. They have failed. My parents have no plan for my grandma. I made a simple suggestion to them months ago and they have not done anything.

I never signed up to be a babysitter for my brother or grandma. However, here I am watching over them while my parents are in Las Vegas and I have a final and written report due on Tuesday. I am not going to spend the next few years of my life doing the work they have chosen to not do. I will help take care of my grandma, but I am not going to do my part and the rest of my family's part. I do not want to be selfish. However, I should not waste my time helping people who are not willing to work themselves.

I do not have enough time in my life for people who waste their lives. I am trying to get my life on track. I am trying to get into graduate school, I am trying to make new friends, I am trying to learn skills that will help me get a career track job, I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, I am trying to get a girlfriend, I am trying to improve my health with exercise and by eating better, I am trying to make the most of my life before I die.

My parents are giving me a place to stay and money to do things. The price for this is dealing with a dad who has abdicated his responsibilities as father and head of household, caring for a mom who is physically disabled who no one seems to listen to, dealing with a brother who thinks the family exists to serve him and does not understand how to effectively help around the house, and a 94 year old grandma who cannot remember a conservation from 3 minutes earlier and holds my mom or me personally responsible for the condition of the house that my dad and brother do not clean.

The food my dad makes is unhealthy. If I keep eating it I will end up obese, looking terrible, and have health complications, just like him. I am already two thirds of the way there. In the last six months I have gained ten pounds. I look fat in a lot of my shirts.

Is this money worth the effect on my happiness and health? No.

The day I can move out and be reasonably sure I can support myself financially will be one of the happiest days of my life.

When I was a child, my parents were great. I am afraid if I spend much more time around them their failures over the last few years will destroy all the good impressions I have of them from when I was younger. As it is, I am embarrassed to bring any of my friends to their house. The last time someone was visiting we were out of toilet paper. The glasses in the kitchen look dirty even after they come out of the dishwasher. Many of the chairs in the kitchen are broken. The kitchen sink leaks water. The front door latch is broken. Things are cleaned infrequently if ever.

I do not want to do anything with my dad and brother. I actively avoid going to mass with them. I dislike spending holidays with them. Trips with them are infuriating for me. I do not want to share my life with them, probably because I want nothing to do with their lives. I don't like the choices they are making in their lives. I don't like how my dad is dealing with (or ignoring) the problems around him. I don't like how he handles his relationships with friends, family, and neighbors. I don't like my brother's complete lack of critical thinking. I don't like the excuses he makes. I don't like their laziness or habitual tardiness. I don't like the low goals they set for themselves. What they do with their lives is their business, but I do not have to be with them.

It is hard to get certain images out of my mind. Like the time my 90+ year old grandma who was a guest in our house was doing laundry. My dad and brother just sat there in the room next to her. They did not try to help fold the laundry. When my grandma needed help, she walked down the hall to ask me, not my dad or brother who were right there. This shows how little confidence she has in them to help her. There are some times my mom needs help in the other room. Instead of calling her husband (who is sitting on his ass staring at the computer or taking a nap), she calls me to help her.

I want to leave because my dad and brother are failing to take responsibility for taking care of my mom, grandma, and their house. A lot of this work has to be done by me or not at all. However, if I leave it will be my mom and grandma who will suffer.

After all of this, what are my choices?

• Move out ASAP with the money I have saved and figure out a job after that.
• Pick a date (maybe August 1st) to move out and plan some things out before then.
• Spend as little time as possible at home. Be at the library, school, coffee shops, or my volunteer job whenever possible.
• Write my dad a letter saying I am disappointing with him and suggest he make some life changes.
• Stay as long as my grandma is staying with us so at least one person will be there for her.
• Do nothing and have a horrible life.

The best choice seems a combination of 2, 3, and 4. I do not want to abandon my mom and grandma.

What do you think I should do? If you have any ideas let me know. Since I am in the middle of this situation it is hard to evaluate things objectively.

Some people are happy

There are a lot of frustrating things around me. Almost all of them have to do with the failures of my family. There is also the presentation and project I have due on Tuesday for my electrical engineering class. My room is a mess, but better than it was a few hours ago. However, I have explained the frustrating things too much. In emails and over Skype, I have spent more than enough time on them.

There are some good things that need to be covered.

I like how I am getting involved with the Beach Newman club. Last week I went to a joint birthday party for two people in the club. The mother of one of the birthday girls made some great comments. She related how her daughter was in a lot of pain for many years because of an illness. She had a surgery a year and a half ago, and now every day without pain is a blessing for them. They were not even sure she would live this long. Aside from a masquerade theme, there was dancing and playing billiards. I am seeing all the signs of being good friends with these people, and it is exciting.

Last week I saw Andrew. Being the kid that he is, he wants to start a Nerf league. People (adults) will get together and shoot their Nerf guns at each other. We ate at the Lake Forrest location of Slater's 50/50. While I have talked about it before, I will reiterate it is magical place.

Continuing the theme of people I know from political activities, I later saw James. We met at Pop's Cafe. I found it online searching for good breakfast places. However, looking at the pictures, I remembered going there once in high school. It was after doing some stage crew work for a senior musical. It was some kind of work during school hours so we missed class, which was unusual. Back to James; he had some interesting news. Last time I saw him the big news was his admittance to Harvard Law School. This time the shocking news is he has a girlfriend and she is white. In college it was a well know and heavily documented fact he almost exclusively liked Asian girls. However, don't go posting about this on facebook. He is keeping it on the down low because the relationship is against company policy.

Earlier this week the Beach Newman club had elections for officers for next year. It was a whimsical event. They modeled everything after the conclave that elected the last pope. Afterwards, everyone in the club was still friends. No one will be leaving because of resentment over the results, which is a welcome departure from the last club I was in. I was elected the prayer coordinator for the group. The exciting thing is the other people on the board I will be working with. They are all awesome people. After the meeting, we went to 2nd Street in Long Beach to celebrate our new president's 21st birthday.

Since I am home for the moment

Yesterday I was working on my taxes. I would have worked on them earlier, but things were crazy. As in living in an RV in the desert to babysit a radio repeater for four days crazy. And being in Fresno the weekend before that. Both of those merit full posts, but I want to get some pictures for them first.

When you are working on your taxes at 11:22 am on April 15th, it is not a good sign if your 1040 starts to look like this.



Despite the colorful explosion, I was able to finish and mail everything. It was good I finished them before 5; I had to work on my application for the master's in electrical engineering program at Long Beach which was due that day.

I would post my entire personal statement online, but I am concerned they might search for my personal statement and discover I plagiarized it from a random blog, or worse, they might read my disparaging comments about my professors who cannot teach.

Everything I mentioned in the personal statement is from the last couple of years. Most of it is from the last couple of months. For example, I realized that with little to no stretching of the truth:

• I developed an interest in microcontrollers taking a class at Long Beach. I am now developing a test system that will be contained on a microcontroller instead of requiring a laptop.
• I am the lead test engineer for field tests. I allocate personnel, write operational plans, and troubleshoot test systems in the field.
• The City of Los Angeles has entrusted me to test their life safety systems.
• I have taught first responders radio communications that they will use in case of a crisis or disaster.
• On the advisory board for a community college's electronics program, I explain the needs and trends in industry and help the college tailor its curriculum to prepare students for careers in electronics.
• I am a volunteer worker in a research and development lab.

I would have gotten into how I worked with machinists to perfect a faceplate for a prototype transformer by making changes in G-code for a CNC machine, but I was limited to 500 words/3500 characters.

When I had to list three academic references (but not get letters from them), I listed three people from Long Beach, including the graduate adviser for the EE program. In the five classes I took from these three people I earned a 3.8 GPA. Next I want to talk to a couple of these people and remind them how great I am in case anyone asks. If Long Beach does not accept me into their program I do not know what I am going to do.

Otherwise Pandora has done a great job of playing songs I like today. It is earning the ads it plays me every few songs. I can feel the gulf between my dad, brother, and myself. I have been out of town 6 of the last 11 nights, dealt with homework for a graduate electrical engineering class, packed for a trip to the desert, done my taxes, finished an application for graduate school, and tried to make the most of every day. My brother put mulch on some parts of the yard on Saturday or Sunday and then said on Monday he was tired from working so hard. My dad took a nap today, since looking at the computer for hours was so exhausting. I want so much more out of life than they do. I am afraid their dead weight will drag me down. I have to fight every day to build a better life for myself. There is no space in my new life for people who waste their life.

The Story of a Weekend

A couple of weekends ago (March 22-24) was interesting and fun weekend. It was supposed to be a relatively uneventful weekend for me. It was after a weekend trip to Las Vegas, and then before the series of Easter weekend, Fresno weekend, Race weekend in Inyo County, trip to Berkeley weekend, and then the big charity fundraiser my parents work on.

It started off on Friday. I was at my volunteer job and did not get home until around 9.

Saturday
On Saturday I had an online meeting to plan an alumni event that is coming up on April 20th. Then I attended mass with some friends from the Beach Newman group. Then I went shopping for beer at Total Wine and More. On a recent trip to Slater's 50/50 with Sidney I enjoyed all of the beers I tried on tap. However, when I was questioned about the beers a few days later I could not remember any details about them. I have decided I need to write down what beers I try as well as a few comments about them. Now back to beer shopping. I was getting beer for a BBQ the next day. I went for variety packs so everyone could find a beer they liked. I bought a pack of New Belgium beer and some Redhook.

The New Belgium beer pack was called a Spring Folly pack. It included their standard Fat Tire, 1554 an Enlightened Black Ale, Springboard which was a beer they discontinued a few years ago (but now it is back as part of a folly pack), Trippel, and Ranger IPA. I remember I liked all of these beers, but was not diligent in remembering anything else. The pages I linked to can explain them and even provide some backstory. For example, I just learned Fat Tire was created by an electrical engineer.

The second pack was a Redhook sampler pack. While I had never had any of their beers, they looked good. It had their Pilsner, ESB, Copperhook, and Long Hammer. You can read about all of them on the Redhook site. Also, I should acknowledge Redhook for have a good website developer. Their list of beers is simply redhook.com/beers/. New Belgium does not have a direct link to their list of beers, only a drop down menu. Then all of the linked beers are something like: www.newbelgium.com/beer/detail.aspx?id=5ac72c92-fd87-4ec7-858d-3380c8d465d8. They do not have that many products so they do not need to have a complicated system. Once again, I only remember enjoying the beers, not anything specific about them. The only reason I know what beers are in their variety pack is because I looked at their website and remembered the colors of the labels. My selections were well received, the other Chris liked the Pilsner so much when I saw him a week later he had bought a six pack.

Then I went shopping. Then I redeemed a coupon I got for donating platelets for free Cold Stone ice cream.

Sunday
This started with a BBQ in a park with The Group (AKA the Vietnamese Crew). Peter picked up burgers, hot dogs, chips, and bacon. He bought 60 hot dogs, because it was cheaper than buying the 32 he was planning on getting. I ate a hot dog that had two dogs and bacon in one bun. Then we got boba.

After that Frank was in town and wanted to meet up. We went to the Haven Gastropub in Orange. We were joined by Dave, Daniel, Ryan, and Ryan's assorted peoples. Ryan had just bought a house and his girlfriend just bought a new car. The new house is in Orange, which is relatively close to where Dave and Daniel live. Meanwhile, I still live around 20 minutes away. At the gastropub I had fried pigs' ear. It tasted similar to bacon, but I did not like the texture. While I was hoping for a few big pieces of ear, It was shredded into strips.

The beers I enjoyed there were the Ten Commandants by The Lost Abbey and Wilco Tango Foxtrot by Lagunitas Brewing Company. They were both good and I would have both of them again. The entire adventure on Sunday had me gone from home for nearly 12 hours.

Monday
While I usually go into my volunteer job in LA on Mondays, this day was the Cesar Chavez holiday. It is a holiday for city employees. However, I was enlisted to help three of my friends from this job move machine tools. My friend had decided to give some of his tools to someone who was starting a shop of his own. The tools were rusting in his garage, so he was glad to give them to someone who could use them to make money. I was at my friend's house at 8:30 in the morning and we were later joined by 5 other people. We loaded a milling machine, a welding machine, some other tool, a small lathe, and a few random accessories onto a borrowed trailer. The milling machine was several hundred pounds, so we used an engine hoist to lift and move it.

After the loading was finished, we started the long drive to our friend's business partner's house. I drove behind the trailer in case they dropped anything, but we only had to stop once on the freeway. The unloading was a lot easier than the loading. Then we went to our other friend's storage space. I saw his large collection of motorcycles. On the way to work to drop off the trailer, he made a quick start and dropped a box full of straps and ties onto the street. I had to jump out and collect all of them, while my friend stopped traffic with his truck. The drive totaled 117 miles. I was gone for 11 hours.

Aside from the adventure, I got some food out of the deal. I had coffee, donuts, and pizza.

That was it.

Now I will be leaving for Fresno in an hour. Hopefully my laundry will dry before Justin gets here.

Being very busy

Last weekend I reinvented busy.

Just over a week ago I was preparing for a radio frequency coverage test trip on the weekend. It was a lot like the last one I blogged about. I was also coordinating hotel rooms for two different groups of people in two different places. I was researching hotels in Las Vegas that were cheap, but not places that were too run down or had bed bugs. Many people were waiting until I made a hotel recommendation before booking. I was also researching hotels in Fresno for next month. People entrusted me (or were too lazy themselves) to find and book a good hotel for a wedding.

On Thursday I spent 12 hours in LA testing the test equipment. Standing in the back parking lot of where I volunteer, I made sure GPS antennas, radios, mp3 players, 12 year old laptops, and custom build circuitry worked. Every time I asked my supervisor about other aspects of the test he would say, "You are going to work on that today." I worked on programming radios and made a few changes I thought could be useful. I was also managing all of the people for the test trip and writing a plan for what we would do when. I got to bed late, so I only got 4 hours of sleep that night.

On Friday I drove myself into LA. My supervisor took the day off so he could drive to the desert a day early. It also meant he was not around for last minute running around and getting everything ready. Instead he called me and explained where I would find (or should find) equipment for the weekend. A lot of things that needed to be done were not assigned to anyone and people assumed someone else was working on them. This caused a lot of last minute work for myself and one of the other people. Friday was also the third and final session of my amateur radio classes. Only one person showed up. Most of the class time I covered FCC rules.

Our big innovation for the testing this time was packaging. We cleaned up our test setups. For the last test we had equipment mounded with Velcro on random wooden boards. We had power cables coming out of a fuse block on another piece of wood. It was a mess. This time we had sheet metal cut on the plasma cam and welded to exactly what we wanted in our machine shop. I mounted fuse blocks and directed all of the wiring. I left LA around 10pm. After packing, I got around 3 hours of sleep before driving out to Las Vegas at 5:30.

We did testing on Saturday and Sunday. My knowledge of Las Vegas came in handy. Everything from express lanes, to freeway exits, to shortcuts in parking garages, to where to find restrooms, and even ideas on where to eat were used. I stayed at the Super 8 on Koval with a few people, while others stayed at the Gold Strike in Jean. There was an equipment failure so we could not conduct our Monday test. The good news is everyone got to go home several hours earlier.

I dove 1,012.9 miles during the trip. This is what my trunk looked like:



There were four laptops, over a dozen radios, lots of wires, many antennas, signs, tools, USB hubs, GPS receivers, calibrated microcontrollers, microphones, and everything I needed for a few days in Las Vegas. This is just what was in my trunk; other people had antennas, repeater boxes, and lots of other things.

On Tuesday night I had a midterm for my electrical engineering class. I started learning things for it 8 hours before the test. While I think I did a good job for a average student, I want to be a great student. In that sense, I am disappointed and missed some questions I should have been prepared for. However, for starting to study for it that day I did an amazing job; at least I think I did.

I am at home this weekend and next weekend. After that, I will be going to a destination wedding (the destination is Fresno), then out to the desert again for the Challenge Cup Race I have been testing for, and then to Berkeley for an alumni event. Those are all a couple hundred miles out of town.

I have been very busy, but these are all great things I want to be doing. I have tried sitting around doing nothing and it is horrible. The only thing I would do differently is plan out my work better so I could get things done before the last possible minute.

RF Coverage Test and Radio Classes

On Monday night I got back from a trip to the desert. As part of my volunteer job, I helped test the radio coverage on a road near Las Vegas. This was fun and exciting.

My involvement with this test started in early February when my supervisor called me. I had not been into my volunteer job since October. However, he wanted me to manage their radio field strength testing. In the past there were some issues because the person who developed everything in the lab and the people who ran the test in the field did not communicate in person. After my supervisor explained his plan for the test, I proposed a better one. My plan required less work and gave us the information we really needed a lot sooner. He liked it, and three weeks later we were in the field running my test.

I helped with a test like this last year, but this was a lot better for a few reasons. First, I had a much better idea what we were doing. I understood the steps of the test. Next, I watched or was involved with the construction and testing of the test setups. I was in the R & D Lab soldering wires into a radio to get test points, calibrated a gain curve for individual radios, and learned how to program radios with a code plug. Lastly, it was my responsibility to setup and fix all six of our test units in the field. I had to find a way to make the software work when it was not cooperating and tell everyone how the equipment worked.

This is exciting because I know enough of what is going on to realize problems, propose solutions, and sometimes implement them myself. I realized inventory control gave me the wrong power adapter, even though the number matched what I asked for. This saved a laptop from being fried. I noticed some radios did not have simplex operation programmed for a channel, so I played with the software and corrected the programming on ten radios. Without this we would have been unable to communicate during a lot of the test. During the field test I suggested a change to how our team was driving and the supervisor immediately implemented it.

For the test itself we had five test vehicles with receive units that drove at 30 MPH and were spaced 1/10 of a mile apart from each other. There was also a transmit unit that sent a test signal every minute. Each setup had a laptop, a radio, a GPS antenna, a BASIC Stamp microcontroller, and a fuse block with way too many wires to power everything. The laptops ran a LabVIEW program that logged the signal strength and vehicle location every minute.

I drove in on Sunday night and stayed at the Gold Strike Hotel and Gambling Hall in Jean, Nevada. In the morning we set up the systems and drove into Las Vegas. We had a 30 mile area to test. The entire trip was 627.0 miles.

Thanks to my troubleshooting abilities, all five of the test units we deployed collected good data. Last year only one unit of three had usable data. The data consisted of thousands of numbers for radio field strength measurements and GPS coordinates. I wanted to look at it in a better way, so I created this map.



The transformation from a bunch of numbers to this map was done by GPS Visualizer, a great online tool anyone can use for free. I had to manipulate the fields to get a good result. Our file had coordinates in minutes and North/South/East/West directions, while the program only accepted degrees and no directional identifiers. After some trial and error, including a map showing China, I produced a great file.

Everyone is impressed by this map. The person who made the test setups taped it to the wall where he works. My supervisor will present this map at a meeting this week where he has to explain the value of the volunteer program. Above is just a screen shot, the actual map can be zoomed in and the data points read. The city at the top right is Las Vegas. As the colors get cooler, the signal strength drops. From our test, we learned the entire area is covered.

Now we are planning our next text trip. A few days ago I said I did not want to overstep my bounds by making too many important decisions. My supervisor told me to go ahead and make decisions. It seems my responsibilities and authority are expanding.

Radio Classes, Round II
On Friday I started teaching two amateur radio license classes. These are like the class I taught a few months ago. I only have three people in the beginning class and three in the intermediate class. However, the people look very interested. Someone is even taking both classes at once. My teaching is immensely helped by KB6NU. He publishes an excellent guide to help people learn concepts and what they need to know to pass the FCC license test. If you want to get into amateur radio, I highly recommend his guides.

A couple of people have told me I need to teach another class for the third level of amateur radio license (the Extra). Apparently I am the only person there who has this highest level of license. A couple of people have a similar older licence (which is now obsolete) they got before I was born. I am concerned if I start teaching that class people might think I know everything I am talking about. As it is, there are a few electrical concepts I cannot fully explain or do not completely understand. I am worried if one of my professors walked in and heard me talk he would have me retroactively failed in a couple of my classes. I can cover part of my ignorance with the different sign convention between engineering and electronics.

It seems every time a question I cannot easily answer comes up someone jumps in and explains it. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who have practical experience that fills in all the holes my academic background has. Here is a great example I learned from someone.

FM broadcast radio in the United States has frequencies ranging from 87.5 to 108.0 MHz. These frequencies are centered around 98 MHz. A wave at 98 MHz would have a wavelength of 3.06 meters (speed of wave = wavelength x frequency). If you measure the antenna on your car, it will be just over 30 inches. This is one quarter of the wavelength, since radios get their best reception when an antenna is the length of the wavelength, half the wavelength, or a quarter of the wavelength.

When our team goes out next month for the race, we will be using amateur radio frequencies to talk. Four of our people will have their amateur radio licenses because they took a class I ran.

On a Wednesday

Wednesday was an interesting day, but first some setup.

Last time I mentioned I was going on a date. Two Thursdays ago we went to the Drum Barracks. It is a Civil War museum centered around a building that housed Union soldiers. I found the museum online when I searched for museums near Long Beach. I was surprised to find a Civil War site in southern California. We went on a Thursday morning to their 9 a.m. tour. There were three people in our tour group, the two of us and the docent. Our guide explained the different rooms at the barracks. One was decorated as a parlor with period furniture, another had bunk beds for several soldiers, and a third was furnished like a fancy bedroom of the era. The other rooms and hallways had exhibits on things ranging from guns and California soldiers in the war to selected topics of interest like the Battle of Hampton Roads or the submarine H. L. Hunley. The museum has a Gatling gun, which is one of the first machine guns. The docent cranked it and showed us the firing pins were still working. It was a good museum located in Wilmington near the port of Los Angles.

As we were walking out after the tour, the museum director stopped us. There was a reporter for the New York Times writing a story about the museum and he wanted to interview us. We explained what we thought of the museum. When the article is published I will drop a link so everyone can see it.

The date went well. There were few opportunities to talk, since our tour group was so small. I made her laugh a few times. She had some work to do before class so we could not hang out after the tour.

Wednesday
I attended a trade show. My supervisor in LA recommended I go there to see what new things were being developed. While it was mainly focused on medical devices, it also had groups of exhibitors in lasers, automated machines, plastics technology, and manufacturing. I am a sucker for any displays with moving parts, and there were a lot of those. There were machines that could sort randomly placed pills based on color, injection molding machines, and automated machines of many kinds. It was fun to see everything in action. I picked up a few items of interest, including plastic drinking cups that were made right in front of me and a pen that was laser engraved with my name in ten seconds. The exposition and parking were free since my affiliation with the City of Los Angeles made me an industry person.

Later that day I headed to the Beach for their Ash Wednesday mass. While I had signed up to be a Eucharistic minister ahead of time, they also recruited me to distribute ashes and do one of the readings.

At the end of the day I talked to the girl I went on a date with. She wanted to stay friends; she was interested in someone else.

I thought I would be sad or more disappointed, but I am at peace with it. However, considering the last few girls I liked told me they were not interested by 1) ignoring me after saying she would love to hang out, 2) telling me she had a boyfriend after we went on a date, 3) avoiding my calls, avoiding me, and detagging herself from my online albums, this is pretty nice.

There was also a subtext of me feeling sick as the day went on. As soon as I got home I crashed before waking up at 2:30 in the morning. I ate, went back to sleep, and then woke up 45 minutes later so I could go into LA for the day.

Facebook knows too much
When I was on Facebook earlier that day, the ads wanted me to buy people Valentine's Day gifts. It was eerie how good it was at selecting who I would want to send Valentines to. It listed five people, and the first three were ones I have real feelings for and would love to be with.

The first girl listed is the most interesting choice. She is awesome and I have some undetermined romantic feelings for her. The problem is geography. If we lived closer to each other I would spend time with her and determine how I feel about her. Since this investigation would be difficult, I see no benefit in telling her. However, if Terrance and Erin could get together living in Chicago and Baltimore maybe I should reconsider. We have not spent enough time together for me to be sure I am not imagining the whole thing.

The second one was the aforementioned girl I just went on a date with. The system probably knew I liked her because we planned the logistics of out date through messages or that I looked through the last 100 pictures she was tagged in.

The third person was someone I had a big crush on circa 2008. I made a couple of mistakes pursuing her, and she did not respond to my advances, at least not in a way I could spot. There was one point in 2011 (when Facebook put all private messages between two people in one long conversation) that I thought she might realize something was going on. In two and a half years we exchanged 50 Facebook messages totaling over 14,000 words.

The fourth person is my second cousin. Does this mean they condone this kind of relationship? If they do, they should have picked my other cousin, I followed a lot of her stuff online.

The fifth person is another girl I know from the Long Beach group. She is cute but we do not have the right chemistry.

Watch out, your online habits can be analyzed to reveal a lot of stuff.