Background of living at home

First an update. On Friday I received an email saying the position I interviewed for a week ago was canceled. The good news is they did not cut me before what would have been a second round of interviews. I also had some experience with that type of interview. The bad news is I will not be starting a job. I will still be living at home with my parents and brother.

I have explained pieces of this to people, but I do not think anyone has the full story of how things are in my parents' house.

Two years ago my dad was laid off from his job. It was very unexpected. However, the Air Force is not buying the airplanes it used to. Since then, he has kept it a secret of sorts. He is telling most people he decided to retire. I can understand why he says this to certain people, like his parents. One role parents never grow out of is worrying about their children and he does not want them to worry. However, there are people I thought he would tell the truth to. Recently my mom's cousin and his wife were visiting us. My mom grew up with him, and my dad has known them since they all went to college together. When they were talking, my dad started saying how great it is now that he is retired. He talked about all of the work and projects he has done around the house. I was so disgusted I wanted to walk out of the room. The truth is in a lot of ways he has shut down and done almost nothing. He does less stuff around the house since he lost his job than he did when he was working full time. He jokes about all the things my mom now has for him to do that keep him busy. There is a list of stuff he could do, but he is not doing it. What worries me is that he might believe the fiction he is telling people.

My mom has multiple sclerosis and has used a wheelchair to get around for the last twenty years. Because of her immobility, a set of health problems comes into play. In the last year a new thing or two has appeared. It is nothing major, but if any of a couple little things get out of hand it can become serious. Her quality of life has gone down.

My brother has Asperger's Syndrome. He cannot process nonverbal communication and has trouble with social interactions as a result. His other problem is an unrealistic sense of how things work and a lack of important skills. This is primarily the fault of my dad. He has not taught him how to make food for himself or how money needs to be managed to make payments for a house, insurance, and food. Because he does not understand money, my brother is currently involved with three or four multi-level marketing companies. These have a lot in common with pyramid schemes.

On top of that, there is little if any meaningful communication between my dad and brother. They do not have the patience to deal with each other.

It is taking a toll on me that I am the only adult in my parent's house. My dad has mentally checked out of his responsibilities as head of household. My mom can see what needs to be done, but is physically unable to do most things. My brother means well and is physically capable, but lacks the experience and decision making skills to get things done.

My dad was gone for two weeks to visit his parents in New York. They were two horrible weeks. I had to do a lot of basic things to keep the house in order, so I could not do some things that were important to me. I did not do any of the exercising I wanted to do. I did not start the homework for the one class I am taking this semester. One of my friends had a connection for a great part time co-op job, but I could not follow up with it because everything around me was falling apart. I did not do a lot of the reading I wanted to. To be fair, some of these things did not happen because of poor time management on my part. However, there was a minimum of help coming my way.

This has been my life for the last two years. There are more horrible days than there should be.