My last post explained the negative things around me. In contrast, this is about the (mostly) good things going on around me. This is about the life I am building for myself.
College Fairs
As in years past, I am a volunteer alumni ambassador for Cal at college fairs at high schools and community colleges. I am working at seven events this year, and it is usually fun.
Looking around at the other college tables at these events, I realized how blessed I was to get into and attend a great school. When prospective students ask me what academic programs we are know for, I tell them Cal has the top departments in the country (according to U.S. News) for Chemistry, Computer Science, English, History, Psychology, and Sociology; the number two place for Biological Sciences, Math, and Statistics; number three for best undergraduate business and engineering programs; and a few dozen other disciplines to round out the top ten.
Then I explain how UCs are significantly cheaper than over half the other colleges at the fair. This year I also told people one of the latest recipients of the Nobel Prize in Physics got his B.A. in Physics from Berkeley (like me and one of the other alumni volunteers). We sent 45 people to the Olympics in London. 17 of them earned medals, 11 of which were gold. I do not know how other schools advertise themselves to students.
A Bad Class
The professor for my Linear Systems Analysis class is in serious competition with a professor I had last year for the title of worst science professor I have ever had. He uses Power Point slides to try to teach us math. The slides have very few example problems and the homework questions are sparse as well. At least in Berkeley the professors could have the excuse of "I do research as a primary job, the teaching is just because I have to." At Long Beach there is no research imperative. The professors' only job is to teach. I do not even try to pay attention in lecture anymore. Instead I work on the problems in the lecture notes and the homework.
In the past I have let a professor's poor teaching skills allow me to think I can put in that same low level of work as a student. While this is a nice theory, tenured professors are guaranteed a job for life, even if every student in the class gives a poor evaluation. However, when I get my grade at the end of the semester no consideration will be given to how the professor did.
For the midterm and quizzes so far I have scored a few points below average. I have a lot of things to learn and get better at for future tests. The professor grades hard; for many problems he gives little if any partial credit.
Last Night
Last night was also good. This weekend was supposed to be a retreat at church. However, we could not get enough people signed up so we had to cancel. This is horrible because everyone who attends the retreat has a great experience; many people describe it as life changing. Since there was no retreat, the team gathered at someone's house and enjoyed carne asada, homemade salsa, and fresh guacamole. After that I went to a Halloween party at Ryan's house. I used my costume from a couple of years ago. I decided to call myself the coachman for hell. I played a couple of games of beer pong with Speed Racer. I also met a girl who was dressed as Anonymous complete with a Guy Fawkes mask. We talked about a movie both of us wanted to see and exchanged phone numbers.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Background of living at home
First an update. On Friday I received an email saying the position I interviewed for a week ago was canceled. The good news is they did not cut me before what would have been a second round of interviews. I also had some experience with that type of interview. The bad news is I will not be starting a job. I will still be living at home with my parents and brother.
I have explained pieces of this to people, but I do not think anyone has the full story of how things are in my parents' house.
Two years ago my dad was laid off from his job. It was very unexpected. However, the Air Force is not buying the airplanes it used to. Since then, he has kept it a secret of sorts. He is telling most people he decided to retire. I can understand why he says this to certain people, like his parents. One role parents never grow out of is worrying about their children and he does not want them to worry. However, there are people I thought he would tell the truth to. Recently my mom's cousin and his wife were visiting us. My mom grew up with him, and my dad has known them since they all went to college together. When they were talking, my dad started saying how great it is now that he is retired. He talked about all of the work and projects he has done around the house. I was so disgusted I wanted to walk out of the room. The truth is in a lot of ways he has shut down and done almost nothing. He does less stuff around the house since he lost his job than he did when he was working full time. He jokes about all the things my mom now has for him to do that keep him busy. There is a list of stuff he could do, but he is not doing it. What worries me is that he might believe the fiction he is telling people.
My mom has multiple sclerosis and has used a wheelchair to get around for the last twenty years. Because of her immobility, a set of health problems comes into play. In the last year a new thing or two has appeared. It is nothing major, but if any of a couple little things get out of hand it can become serious. Her quality of life has gone down.
My brother has Asperger's Syndrome. He cannot process nonverbal communication and has trouble with social interactions as a result. His other problem is an unrealistic sense of how things work and a lack of important skills. This is primarily the fault of my dad. He has not taught him how to make food for himself or how money needs to be managed to make payments for a house, insurance, and food. Because he does not understand money, my brother is currently involved with three or four multi-level marketing companies. These have a lot in common with pyramid schemes.
On top of that, there is little if any meaningful communication between my dad and brother. They do not have the patience to deal with each other.
It is taking a toll on me that I am the only adult in my parent's house. My dad has mentally checked out of his responsibilities as head of household. My mom can see what needs to be done, but is physically unable to do most things. My brother means well and is physically capable, but lacks the experience and decision making skills to get things done.
My dad was gone for two weeks to visit his parents in New York. They were two horrible weeks. I had to do a lot of basic things to keep the house in order, so I could not do some things that were important to me. I did not do any of the exercising I wanted to do. I did not start the homework for the one class I am taking this semester. One of my friends had a connection for a great part time co-op job, but I could not follow up with it because everything around me was falling apart. I did not do a lot of the reading I wanted to. To be fair, some of these things did not happen because of poor time management on my part. However, there was a minimum of help coming my way.
This has been my life for the last two years. There are more horrible days than there should be.
I have explained pieces of this to people, but I do not think anyone has the full story of how things are in my parents' house.
Two years ago my dad was laid off from his job. It was very unexpected. However, the Air Force is not buying the airplanes it used to. Since then, he has kept it a secret of sorts. He is telling most people he decided to retire. I can understand why he says this to certain people, like his parents. One role parents never grow out of is worrying about their children and he does not want them to worry. However, there are people I thought he would tell the truth to. Recently my mom's cousin and his wife were visiting us. My mom grew up with him, and my dad has known them since they all went to college together. When they were talking, my dad started saying how great it is now that he is retired. He talked about all of the work and projects he has done around the house. I was so disgusted I wanted to walk out of the room. The truth is in a lot of ways he has shut down and done almost nothing. He does less stuff around the house since he lost his job than he did when he was working full time. He jokes about all the things my mom now has for him to do that keep him busy. There is a list of stuff he could do, but he is not doing it. What worries me is that he might believe the fiction he is telling people.
My mom has multiple sclerosis and has used a wheelchair to get around for the last twenty years. Because of her immobility, a set of health problems comes into play. In the last year a new thing or two has appeared. It is nothing major, but if any of a couple little things get out of hand it can become serious. Her quality of life has gone down.
My brother has Asperger's Syndrome. He cannot process nonverbal communication and has trouble with social interactions as a result. His other problem is an unrealistic sense of how things work and a lack of important skills. This is primarily the fault of my dad. He has not taught him how to make food for himself or how money needs to be managed to make payments for a house, insurance, and food. Because he does not understand money, my brother is currently involved with three or four multi-level marketing companies. These have a lot in common with pyramid schemes.
On top of that, there is little if any meaningful communication between my dad and brother. They do not have the patience to deal with each other.
It is taking a toll on me that I am the only adult in my parent's house. My dad has mentally checked out of his responsibilities as head of household. My mom can see what needs to be done, but is physically unable to do most things. My brother means well and is physically capable, but lacks the experience and decision making skills to get things done.
My dad was gone for two weeks to visit his parents in New York. They were two horrible weeks. I had to do a lot of basic things to keep the house in order, so I could not do some things that were important to me. I did not do any of the exercising I wanted to do. I did not start the homework for the one class I am taking this semester. One of my friends had a connection for a great part time co-op job, but I could not follow up with it because everything around me was falling apart. I did not do a lot of the reading I wanted to. To be fair, some of these things did not happen because of poor time management on my part. However, there was a minimum of help coming my way.
This has been my life for the last two years. There are more horrible days than there should be.
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