I do not think I have explained how much I have fallen for the girl in my class. From the way she looks to her personality, I really like her. From the first day I met her I was attracted to her. I knew it was a long shot we would ever get together, but I had to try. When I started talking to her we hit it off. The more I got to know her and spend time with her the more I liked her. Even better, she gave me signals she felt the same way about me. I was excited. Then we went out to see a movie and have dinner together. At some point during dinner between the laughing and easy going interactions between us I looked into her eyes. I knew being with her was not a far off dream, but a reality that was right in front of me.
A few days later I asked if she wanted to have dinner with me before our class together on Thursday. She said yes. On Thursday I counted down the hours until our dinner. She texted me to say one of her labs was taking longer than expected so she could not make it. However, I was happy because I still got to see her in class. Then it all fell apart. She told me she has a boyfriend.
I was shocked. Why would she go on a date with me if she has a boyfriend? How could the two of us spend so much time together and interact the way we did without her ever mentioning she has a boyfriend? How could she have said yes to my advances? How could her boyfriend of three years have not come up in all the personal questions I asked her? How could my questions of what she did over the weekend and who was texting her not uncover she had a boyfriend?
The questions are not just about her. I keep wondering if I did something wrong. Did I miss something she said? Did I not make my intentions clear? Should I have done something differently? How could this happen?
Ever since Thursday night I have been falling apart. Friday was the worst. I wanted to cry more times than I could count.
The shock and the sadness of the last few days has been overwhelming.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
A lot of great things
A lot of things have happened since my last post. This last month has been a non-stop whirlwind for me.
I started volunteering for the city of Los Angeles. A friend from church works in one of the city's shops and told me I should be a volunteer there so he could teach me how their equipment works. So far, my work has included using a laser engraver, learning how to program a CNC machine, and coming up with ideas for a solar generator. Almost everything I am doing will be very useful when I look for a job. As if that is not enough, it is a lot of fun.
Tomorrow night I will embark on Larry's next great outdoor adventure. We are going to Havasu Falls in Arizona. Aside from hiking, we will be doing legitimate camping. On Friday we will hike 8 miles to the campsite where we will set up our tents. On Saturday Peter will separate the lambs from the sheep with a 16 mile round trip hike. On Sunday we will pack up all of our stuff and carry it the 8 miles back to our car, which will involve a 1,000 foot elevation change. This is the first time I have done hiking and backpacking where I had to carry my tent and everything to a separate campsite.
There have been over 100 emails planning and talking about this trip in the last few days. Everyone is focusing on getting the correct gear. While that is very important, I fear people are neglecting getting in shape for the strenuous physical activity of hiking with packs and an elevation change. A couple of weeks ago I restarted my bike riding. On Saturday I rode 16 miles, so I am getting into good cardiovascular shape. I would have ridden 16 miles again toady, but my tire found a nail in the road half a mile into my ride.
The forecast has rain and cold temperatures for the trip. As long as we don't get hypothermia or experience anything too unfortunate it will be great.
As I mentioned earlier, in one of my classes there is a girl I have a crush on. Yesterday we went on a date. It was great. We watched a movie and went to dinner. We interacted well. There was talking, laughing, and learning about each other. She had a good time as well. After dinner she referred to the next time we go out.
I am excited. I don't know what exactly it is, but there is something about her I am really attracted to.
I am excited about everything. For the first time in a long while I am looking forward to what the next couple of months will bring.
I started volunteering for the city of Los Angeles. A friend from church works in one of the city's shops and told me I should be a volunteer there so he could teach me how their equipment works. So far, my work has included using a laser engraver, learning how to program a CNC machine, and coming up with ideas for a solar generator. Almost everything I am doing will be very useful when I look for a job. As if that is not enough, it is a lot of fun.
Tomorrow night I will embark on Larry's next great outdoor adventure. We are going to Havasu Falls in Arizona. Aside from hiking, we will be doing legitimate camping. On Friday we will hike 8 miles to the campsite where we will set up our tents. On Saturday Peter will separate the lambs from the sheep with a 16 mile round trip hike. On Sunday we will pack up all of our stuff and carry it the 8 miles back to our car, which will involve a 1,000 foot elevation change. This is the first time I have done hiking and backpacking where I had to carry my tent and everything to a separate campsite.
There have been over 100 emails planning and talking about this trip in the last few days. Everyone is focusing on getting the correct gear. While that is very important, I fear people are neglecting getting in shape for the strenuous physical activity of hiking with packs and an elevation change. A couple of weeks ago I restarted my bike riding. On Saturday I rode 16 miles, so I am getting into good cardiovascular shape. I would have ridden 16 miles again toady, but my tire found a nail in the road half a mile into my ride.
The forecast has rain and cold temperatures for the trip. As long as we don't get hypothermia or experience anything too unfortunate it will be great.
As I mentioned earlier, in one of my classes there is a girl I have a crush on. Yesterday we went on a date. It was great. We watched a movie and went to dinner. We interacted well. There was talking, laughing, and learning about each other. She had a good time as well. After dinner she referred to the next time we go out.
I am excited. I don't know what exactly it is, but there is something about her I am really attracted to.
I am excited about everything. For the first time in a long while I am looking forward to what the next couple of months will bring.
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