I do not think I have explained how much I have fallen for the girl in my class. From the way she looks to her personality, I really like her. From the first day I met her I was attracted to her. I knew it was a long shot we would ever get together, but I had to try. When I started talking to her we hit it off. The more I got to know her and spend time with her the more I liked her. Even better, she gave me signals she felt the same way about me. I was excited. Then we went out to see a movie and have dinner together. At some point during dinner between the laughing and easy going interactions between us I looked into her eyes. I knew being with her was not a far off dream, but a reality that was right in front of me.
A few days later I asked if she wanted to have dinner with me before our class together on Thursday. She said yes. On Thursday I counted down the hours until our dinner. She texted me to say one of her labs was taking longer than expected so she could not make it. However, I was happy because I still got to see her in class. Then it all fell apart. She told me she has a boyfriend.
I was shocked. Why would she go on a date with me if she has a boyfriend? How could the two of us spend so much time together and interact the way we did without her ever mentioning she has a boyfriend? How could she have said yes to my advances? How could her boyfriend of three years have not come up in all the personal questions I asked her? How could my questions of what she did over the weekend and who was texting her not uncover she had a boyfriend?
The questions are not just about her. I keep wondering if I did something wrong. Did I miss something she said? Did I not make my intentions clear? Should I have done something differently? How could this happen?
Ever since Thursday night I have been falling apart. Friday was the worst. I wanted to cry more times than I could count.
The shock and the sadness of the last few days has been overwhelming.
Hey Page,
ReplyDeleteYou did absolutely nothing wrong! She was definitely in the wrong for not being upfront and clear with you to start with. I have a lot of guy friends that I hang out with, but T ALWAYS comes up in our conversations. Even when T and I were still just friends in college, he knew about my relationships. Yeah, we went on what one might term "dates", but the mood and intentions were clear and it was obvious I had a bf. I know from experience that sometimes when you are in a long-term relationship and you are missing *something* from your partner, you tend to find someone outside the relationship who can fill that void. She was probably using you in order to get that something she was missing in her current relationship. Or she could just be a tease, but I think it's the former. You are a nice, sweet guy and perhaps she doesn't get that w/ her current bf. Anyway, cheer up! You are awesome. Don't let something like this get you down. I can't tell you how many times T would come to me upset and heart broken because of other girls who did similar things to him, and it all worked out okay for him!:) <3
Erin
Thanks for your comments Erin. I was talking to my Associate (the other Chris) and he had some similar thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThe important points I am getting from people are:
1) I did nothing wrong.
2) She could have said she had a boyfriend right away, but she did not. This means she was attracted to me and enjoyed spending time with me. She was not ready to let go of our relationship, so she kept her boyfriend a secret.