Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Are you ok?, I’m sorry I have to rephrase my phrases

As I was composing some of my posts, I realized I repeatedly use certain grammar constructions. (For example, I use However to show contrasting points.) The usages are correct, but I want to break out of my habits and expand my language.

In analyzing these writing habits, a larger issue came up. There are words and phrases I think and say often. There is nothing inherently bad about these words, but I use them more frequently than I would like to. An example of this is the question “Are you OK?” For some reason, I have asked Derek if he was OK an inordinate number of times (and he was always OK). If I did ask anyone else, I was never told I asked that question too often. After concluding there was nothing characteristic of Derek that made him look not OK, I started to break that habit.

A few weeks ago I started actively listening to words that popped into my head and what I spoke. I noticed I was saying “I’m sorry” a ridiculous number of times a day. After this realization, action was the next step. Every time I thought “I’m sorry,” I told myself, “No, I am not” and went back and put in different words to express what I was thinking. After a week, I had greatly reduced the phrase’s usage in my mind and almost expunged it from my speech.

After the effect was resolved, I wanted to know the cause. Where do these phrases come from? How do they become so pervasive in my internal monologue and external expression? I talked to my Mom and she figured it out. They come from my Dad. Everything from "The mail came late" to "It is raining today" is answered by "I'm sorry." I even had a flashback to when I was four or five years old. I was hurt somehow and I remember my Dad holding me and rocking back and forth while sitting and saying "I'm sorry" over and over.

If there are any phrases, words, or questions I have ever used too much around you, please let me know. I will not say I’m sorry, but I do extend my apologies for being repetitive and pledge to remove those words from my vocabulary.

While I was writing this post, one of the songs I listened to repeats "I'm sorry."

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