A laughing matter we pay for

I just finished the book Parliament of Whores by P.J. O'Rourke. The book is best explained by it's subtitle: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government.

I first heard about this book in high school when my AP Government teacher gave everyone a section of it to read. The book was published in 1991. The best way I can describe the book is funny, relevant, and sad. I laughed out loud many times reading it. The book talks about how government actually works or at least how it spends money but does not work.

To illustrate O'Rourke's humor, here are a few of the section titles:

"Why God Is a Republican and Santa Claus Is a Democrat"
"The three branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit"
"Would You Kill Your Mother to Pave I-95?"
"Our Government: What the Fuck do They do and Why Does it Cost so Goddamned Much Money?"

The last one is a really good question. On my last trip to Washington D.C. I saw the Department of Education building but I did not see any evidence of children being educated on the premises. I did park in front of the Internal Revenue Service building where all our money goes but the only thing I saw it being spent on were traffic officers who would ticket cars that parked in front of the building after 4 PM.

Even though the book is 20 years old, some of the passages are still valid nearly word for word. In one section he talks about environmentalists and their complaints against President George Bush (George Bush Sr. that is). If a W. were added to the passage it would describe complaints against him a decade later. We also learn Senator Joseph Biden was a source of comic material even 20 years ago.

Sad and Relevant
Unfortunately the relevant and sad parts of the book often go together. There is a chapter talking about the Savings and Loan Crisis of the late eighties. There are a few parallels between that and the subprime mortgage mess of a few years ago. Both times taxpayers spent hundreds of billions bailing out bank managers and investors who made reckless decisions.

While O'Rourke's suggestions are often comic hyperbole, sometimes they sound like sensible policy. In one chapter he talks about farm policy. He cites programs that were established decades ago and asks if they are needed today or were even needed decades ago. Some programs pay farmers to help them farm while other programs from a different agency give people money to buy food because it is so expensive. While this is bad, I suppose it is better than paying farmers not to farm, which is a different program.

O'Rourke also does some math and has a few interesting conclusions. He asserts for all the money spent on aid to sheep to help domestic production of wool they could be sending all those sheep to Swiss boarding schools.

If you are a follower of government, I think you will enjoy the book. As said in the Preface, the book is written from a conservative point of view, since conservatism favors the restraint of government.

I would tell you more of his ideas, but then you might get mad at me and write comments condemning the ideas and me. Instead I will tell you to read the book and then you can write angry letters to O'Rourke instead. I am sure the Postal Service needs all the money it can get.

I will leave you with a comment from the Preface that sums up the book nicely. "I'm not sure I learned anything except that giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."