A different type of writing

Today I was at the Barnes & Noble at the Irvine Spectrum. I was looking at random stuff between watching the Bears play a horrible football game and picking my dad up from the airport.

There was a big display dedicated to journals. I thought, I should try writing in a paper journal for a while. It is a storied and old fashioned way of doing things. Then I thought, I already have a blog where I write stuff; why would I write in a book instead?

The main reason I would write in a book instead of here is if I did not want to share or explain in writing my thoughts and feelings about certain people. I have posts started with substantial themes like my dad is failing as a father and some of my friends do not care about me. However, if I bring up any of those they would invite a detailed explanation, which I do not want to write.

The other category of things I would write on paper but not online are situations I do not want to give continuous updates on. For example, in my last post I mentioned a girl I met. She said she would be at a meeting last week. I was there, but she was not. So I figured out where one of her classes was and waited in the hall so I could talk to her. She told me she would see me the next day at another club meeting. Once again, I went there, but she was nowhere to be seen.

If I gave a play by play account of this, then I would feel I should give updates every week. If I did not make an immediate post, people might start asking "Did you see her?" every Thursday night. I do not know what my feelings are for her. Do I want to be friends? Do I want a romantic relationship? I have only talked to her twice; I do not know what she is like. Based on the list of similarities so far, she could be the female version of me. All I know for sure is I want to get to know her.

On Second Thought
Now I am rereading this post. I am not convinced by my reasoning. These are not good reasons for refraining from writing everything online. A lot of people could write a "I went here, I did this" type of blog. I want to write more. My worst case scenarios for not making certain posts are fairly dull. The only people I have told about this blog are people I am willing to tell everything to.

Thinking about it, you should know why I think my dad is failing as a father. One day it might make you a better parent. If I talk out why I might need some new friends, it might spur me to find the types of friends I want. If I share details of my life, someone who cares about me might ask a question.

These are all great possible outcomes.

The first time I started writing anything like a journal was senior year of high school. I started writing because there were great things happening that I wanted to remember. I wanted to capture the things that occupied my attention and interest from one day to the next. It is easy to remember the big long term things like taking classes in electrical engineering, starting as a volunteer worker, and being involved with a retreat program at church. However, it is the smaller things that add color and dimension to my life. There is a vast middle ground between the mundane and the monumental where I spend most of my time.

I want to get back to writing about the smaller things.