Sometimes there are failures in communication.
I was recently talking to my Associate, and he told me some big news about one of our friends. This was surprising to me, as I had chatted with this friend online a few times recently and emailed him, but he never alluded to anything. When I finally asked him why he did not tell me this big news of his, he told me it was because I never asked.
I wonder, what things are going on with the people I know that I am unaware of? What is happening that I do not know because I did not ask the right question?
In an ideal world, people would tell me new and noteworthy things before I run through a battery of twenty questions. Then I started to think, how many times has something new happened to me and I never said anything? I have waited many times for questions that never came. I write short speeches in my mind explaining what I think about, stuff that happens to me, and my feelings on situations. Most of these speeches remain on a shelf in my thoughts and never find voice aloud.
As an example, neither of the groups I am involved with at church know I spent five semesters leading a Bible study group in college. Even though one group is reading Peter's First Letter and I have a quasi-teaching role in the other, they don't know this useful experience of mine.
As a step in learning to ask the right questions, I will volunteer information about myself. Last week I started reading some Shakespeare. What started as reading Richard II took me to the library for more plays and to websites covering the Hundred Years War, the real figures behind Shakespeare's history plays, and questions about the "Pseudo-Shakespearian" play Edward III.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Thanksgiving and the Bears
It is the beginning of a new month. This means partial drafts and post ideas must go.
Thanksgiving
At the church group/fellowship I attend I have acquired a reputation for coming up with good ice breaker questions. Before Thanksgiving I suggested, "What is your favorite Thanksgiving memory?" My answer:
The Bears
In the 112th Big Game, the Cardinals (not the birds, but the color) took a 14-0 lead in the first quater. The Bears came back scoring 24 points, to take the led at 24-14. It ended with an interception by Cal at their own 3 yard line to end the game at 34-28. You can read the recap from the Cal Football site or any number of links on Google.
This means we keep the Axe!
There is one more game in the regular season at Washington. Then it is all about a bowl game. The predictions have Cal playing Oklahoma in the Burt Sun Bowl, which is played in El Paso. According to Google Maps, this is only 799 miles from my house. The stadium is easy to get to, there is less than a mile of driving after exiting the 10. This is 600 miles closer than the Armed Forces Bowl where the Bears played two years ago.
It would be fun to go to Texas for the bowl. My concerns are: I would want to travel with fun people and a trip would have to deal with the New Year's Eve crowd as the game is the morning of the 31st.
Thanksgiving
At the church group/fellowship I attend I have acquired a reputation for coming up with good ice breaker questions. Before Thanksgiving I suggested, "What is your favorite Thanksgiving memory?" My answer:
When I was in college, our Bible study group Seekers would celebrate Thanksgiving on the Tuesday before the holiday. One year I signed up to bring mashed potatoes. Since many people (30+) were expected and mashed potatoes are a classic dish for the day, I mashed 15 lb. of potatoes for the feast. I had to go out and buy a pot that was big enough to cook all of them. I also dumped sour cream and cream cheese into the potatoes for extra flavor (after putting a bowl aside for Fr. Charlie).This past Thanksgiving, I offered my Grandma my pot to cook a large amount of potatoes, but she said that was unnecessary.
The Bears
In the 112th Big Game, the Cardinals (not the birds, but the color) took a 14-0 lead in the first quater. The Bears came back scoring 24 points, to take the led at 24-14. It ended with an interception by Cal at their own 3 yard line to end the game at 34-28. You can read the recap from the Cal Football site or any number of links on Google.
This means we keep the Axe!
There is one more game in the regular season at Washington. Then it is all about a bowl game. The predictions have Cal playing Oklahoma in the Burt Sun Bowl, which is played in El Paso. According to Google Maps, this is only 799 miles from my house. The stadium is easy to get to, there is less than a mile of driving after exiting the 10. This is 600 miles closer than the Armed Forces Bowl where the Bears played two years ago.
It would be fun to go to Texas for the bowl. My concerns are: I would want to travel with fun people and a trip would have to deal with the New Year's Eve crowd as the game is the morning of the 31st.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Are you ok?, I’m sorry I have to rephrase my phrases
As I was composing some of my posts, I realized I repeatedly use certain grammar constructions. (For example, I use However to show contrasting points.) The usages are correct, but I want to break out of my habits and expand my language.
In analyzing these writing habits, a larger issue came up. There are words and phrases I think and say often. There is nothing inherently bad about these words, but I use them more frequently than I would like to. An example of this is the question “Are you OK?” For some reason, I have asked Derek if he was OK an inordinate number of times (and he was always OK). If I did ask anyone else, I was never told I asked that question too often. After concluding there was nothing characteristic of Derek that made him look not OK, I started to break that habit.
A few weeks ago I started actively listening to words that popped into my head and what I spoke. I noticed I was saying “I’m sorry” a ridiculous number of times a day. After this realization, action was the next step. Every time I thought “I’m sorry,” I told myself, “No, I am not” and went back and put in different words to express what I was thinking. After a week, I had greatly reduced the phrase’s usage in my mind and almost expunged it from my speech.
After the effect was resolved, I wanted to know the cause. Where do these phrases come from? How do they become so pervasive in my internal monologue and external expression? I talked to my Mom and she figured it out. They come from my Dad. Everything from "The mail came late" to "It is raining today" is answered by "I'm sorry." I even had a flashback to when I was four or five years old. I was hurt somehow and I remember my Dad holding me and rocking back and forth while sitting and saying "I'm sorry" over and over.
If there are any phrases, words, or questions I have ever used too much around you, please let me know. I will not say I’m sorry, but I do extend my apologies for being repetitive and pledge to remove those words from my vocabulary.
While I was writing this post, one of the songs I listened to repeats "I'm sorry."
In analyzing these writing habits, a larger issue came up. There are words and phrases I think and say often. There is nothing inherently bad about these words, but I use them more frequently than I would like to. An example of this is the question “Are you OK?” For some reason, I have asked Derek if he was OK an inordinate number of times (and he was always OK). If I did ask anyone else, I was never told I asked that question too often. After concluding there was nothing characteristic of Derek that made him look not OK, I started to break that habit.
A few weeks ago I started actively listening to words that popped into my head and what I spoke. I noticed I was saying “I’m sorry” a ridiculous number of times a day. After this realization, action was the next step. Every time I thought “I’m sorry,” I told myself, “No, I am not” and went back and put in different words to express what I was thinking. After a week, I had greatly reduced the phrase’s usage in my mind and almost expunged it from my speech.
After the effect was resolved, I wanted to know the cause. Where do these phrases come from? How do they become so pervasive in my internal monologue and external expression? I talked to my Mom and she figured it out. They come from my Dad. Everything from "The mail came late" to "It is raining today" is answered by "I'm sorry." I even had a flashback to when I was four or five years old. I was hurt somehow and I remember my Dad holding me and rocking back and forth while sitting and saying "I'm sorry" over and over.
If there are any phrases, words, or questions I have ever used too much around you, please let me know. I will not say I’m sorry, but I do extend my apologies for being repetitive and pledge to remove those words from my vocabulary.
While I was writing this post, one of the songs I listened to repeats "I'm sorry."
Friday, November 20, 2009
Cocktails and Casseroles
When I was in Northern California at the end of September, Derek gave me a few ideas.
It started Saturday morning in the hotel room. I mentioned how I remember Derek watching cooking shows on Saturday mornings senior year. There were a few things that stayed with me from the shows, like the line "If Yan can cook, so can you!" After finding and watching these shows on TV, Derek suggested I start a career as a cooking show host. In the episodes I could explain how to make one of my casseroles. Unlike other shows that gloss over the baking time, I could use it to demonstrate how to make a different alcoholic drink. It would be Chris's Cocktails & Casseroles.
I liked the idea. A good first step would be a series of online videos. However, since I do not have access to a second camera and competent cameraman (or camera person to be politically correct), there are technical issues. Until they are resolved, I will post here.
Yorkshire Chicken
A couple of weekends ago I made Yorkshire Chicken. I have made it several times before and following this easy plan you too can enjoy it.
4-5 chicken breast with ribs
(boneless will work as well, but the cooking time will need to be cut)
1/4 cup oil at most, just enough to coat the bottom of the 9x13 pan
1/3 cup flour
2 tsp salt
1/4 pepper
1.5 tsp sage
Yorkshire Pudding Ingredients:
1 cup flour (the original recipe says sifted flour, but I don't sift)
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 tsp parsley flakes
1.5 cup milk
3 eggs
Remove the skin and excess fat from the chicken. Coat the outside with the flour, salt, pepper, and sage. The amounts are not vitally important, just sprinkle some of the salt, pepper, and sage on it and coat with flour. After using the oil to coat the bottom of the casserole pan, place the chicken in and bake at 400 for 40 minutes.
Mix up the Yorkshire Pudding by combining the flour, baking powder, salt, and parsley. Add in the eggs and milk, removing all the lumps by mixing.
After the chicken has been in the oven for 40 minutes, pour the Yorkshire Pudding mix into the oil at the bottom of the pan.
Return the chicken and Yorkshire to the oven for 20 to 25 minutes or until the Yorkshire Pudding is puffed up and a desired tint of brown.
I always remove the skin before baking so there will not be too much oil in the bottom of the pan. Too much liquid will make for a soggy Yorkshire Pudding, which I can attest is no fun.
Now onto the drink to make and enjoy.
Japanese
2 oz Brandy
0.5 oz Orgeat syrup
2 dashes Angostura Bitters
Combine ingredients with ice, stir, strain, and serve with a lemon twist.
A couple of months ago I bought a book, The Pocket Recipe Guide: Museum of the American Cocktail which has 100 drink recipes. The cocktails use a wide range of items. I had the proper ingredients at home to make 10 or 15 of the 100 drinks in the book. This is one of them.
If any of these directions are unclear, questions and comments are welcome and encouraged. For an immediate response, you can call me during the preparation if something does not look correct.
It started Saturday morning in the hotel room. I mentioned how I remember Derek watching cooking shows on Saturday mornings senior year. There were a few things that stayed with me from the shows, like the line "If Yan can cook, so can you!" After finding and watching these shows on TV, Derek suggested I start a career as a cooking show host. In the episodes I could explain how to make one of my casseroles. Unlike other shows that gloss over the baking time, I could use it to demonstrate how to make a different alcoholic drink. It would be Chris's Cocktails & Casseroles.
I liked the idea. A good first step would be a series of online videos. However, since I do not have access to a second camera and competent cameraman (or camera person to be politically correct), there are technical issues. Until they are resolved, I will post here.
Yorkshire Chicken
A couple of weekends ago I made Yorkshire Chicken. I have made it several times before and following this easy plan you too can enjoy it.
4-5 chicken breast with ribs
(boneless will work as well, but the cooking time will need to be cut)
1/4 cup oil at most, just enough to coat the bottom of the 9x13 pan
1/3 cup flour
2 tsp salt
1/4 pepper
1.5 tsp sage
Yorkshire Pudding Ingredients:
1 cup flour (the original recipe says sifted flour, but I don't sift)
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 tsp parsley flakes
1.5 cup milk
3 eggs
Remove the skin and excess fat from the chicken. Coat the outside with the flour, salt, pepper, and sage. The amounts are not vitally important, just sprinkle some of the salt, pepper, and sage on it and coat with flour. After using the oil to coat the bottom of the casserole pan, place the chicken in and bake at 400 for 40 minutes.
Mix up the Yorkshire Pudding by combining the flour, baking powder, salt, and parsley. Add in the eggs and milk, removing all the lumps by mixing.
After the chicken has been in the oven for 40 minutes, pour the Yorkshire Pudding mix into the oil at the bottom of the pan.
Return the chicken and Yorkshire to the oven for 20 to 25 minutes or until the Yorkshire Pudding is puffed up and a desired tint of brown.
I always remove the skin before baking so there will not be too much oil in the bottom of the pan. Too much liquid will make for a soggy Yorkshire Pudding, which I can attest is no fun.
Now onto the drink to make and enjoy.
Japanese
2 oz Brandy
0.5 oz Orgeat syrup
2 dashes Angostura Bitters
Combine ingredients with ice, stir, strain, and serve with a lemon twist.
A couple of months ago I bought a book, The Pocket Recipe Guide: Museum of the American Cocktail which has 100 drink recipes. The cocktails use a wide range of items. I had the proper ingredients at home to make 10 or 15 of the 100 drinks in the book. This is one of them.
If any of these directions are unclear, questions and comments are welcome and encouraged. For an immediate response, you can call me during the preparation if something does not look correct.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Unappreciated Virtures
Just when I tell a few people about this blog, I go on hiatius for a month. I will make some posts and get back in business.
I can often tell when someone else has been driving my car. There are a lot of clues. For example, if one of the cup holders is left open, someone else has been using my car. I always put the windshield sun shade up a specific way with one side in front of the other and each of the pieces having a unique orientation.
Also, if the air conditioning is left on or at a different combination of hot/cold and vents, the radio is left on, the radio is on a different station, or the CD is on a different track, someone has been driving my car. If all of the above are out of place, my Dad was the one driving.
Whenever I use someone else's car, I minimize the signs of my presence. If I turn the radio on I will put it back to the station I found it on. I have a habit of leaving things the way I found them.
This habit of mine extends beyond cars. By looking in the liquor cabinet at home I can often tell what drink my Dad made the night before. Whenever I mix a drink, I put the bottles back in the same places as before and tighten the tops; my Dad does neither of these things.
This has led me to wonder, where did I pick up this habit of leaving things the way I found them? It certainty was not from my Dad or brother. The best I can think of is at some point I wanted to leave no trace of what I did. I liked what I was doing so I kept it up. I think returning things to the way they were found is an unappreciated virtue.
One exception to this is leaving a place better than I found it. For example, if I am using a restroom and there is a used paper towel next to the sink, I will throw it away.
I can often tell when someone else has been driving my car. There are a lot of clues. For example, if one of the cup holders is left open, someone else has been using my car. I always put the windshield sun shade up a specific way with one side in front of the other and each of the pieces having a unique orientation.
Also, if the air conditioning is left on or at a different combination of hot/cold and vents, the radio is left on, the radio is on a different station, or the CD is on a different track, someone has been driving my car. If all of the above are out of place, my Dad was the one driving.
Whenever I use someone else's car, I minimize the signs of my presence. If I turn the radio on I will put it back to the station I found it on. I have a habit of leaving things the way I found them.
This habit of mine extends beyond cars. By looking in the liquor cabinet at home I can often tell what drink my Dad made the night before. Whenever I mix a drink, I put the bottles back in the same places as before and tighten the tops; my Dad does neither of these things.
This has led me to wonder, where did I pick up this habit of leaving things the way I found them? It certainty was not from my Dad or brother. The best I can think of is at some point I wanted to leave no trace of what I did. I liked what I was doing so I kept it up. I think returning things to the way they were found is an unappreciated virtue.
One exception to this is leaving a place better than I found it. For example, if I am using a restroom and there is a used paper towel next to the sink, I will throw it away.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
My weekend, and the people I did not see
This last weekend of September, I was in the Bay Area. Before I get to the best part of the weekend and the main reason I was up north in the next post, there are a few side comments.
I have a habit of showing up in Berkeley without telling people until immediately before I leave or calling them up when I am already in the city. Even more fun I sneak up on people and make casual comments standing right next to them. For example I asked Kim about the English muffin she was toasting at the Residence Inn on Sunday morning.
Below are the responses of people when I told them I was coming to the Bay Area and wanted to see them. The names have been removed.
Google chat conservation one:
My Friend: Howdy Christopher!
Surprise:
I will be in the Southern California area this weekend.
However, I do not know what I will be doing, but my parents will both be off work.
me: Surprise:
I will be in Northern California this weekend. :(
Google chat conservation two:
me: If you have time on Friday or Saturday, running into you would be nice :)
My other Friend: i work all day friday and i'm babysitting on saturday :(
Phone call person one:
I am in Big Sur this weekend with my girlfriend celebrating our anniversary. (Congratulations on five years!)
Phone call person two:
I just got off a plane in Orange County where I will be spending the weekend.
Phone call person three:
I am at home taking care of my Mom and Sister who have the swine flu. I think I am coming down with a flu as well.
Sean, my friend from high school who attends Boalt:
I left a voicemail message, several calls placed, and spend time outside the apartment where he lives.
That is half a dozen people.
On a more positive note, I saw a few people on Saturday. Being at Kim's (not to be confused with the aforementioned Kim) watching the football game with spirited people was fun, even if the game was sad and disappointing. I bought a couple of books at Moe's. I went to the 9:30 on Sunday morning and Fr. Al recognized me. Then I went to Cafe Durant with Josh and Derek.
Going back to Berkeley always drudges up feelings. I go to places I spent countless hours at and traverse the streets I crossed hundreds of times. It seems I used to know someone who lived in an apartment on every block. Everywhere are memories of events, people, and a life that is far removed from me. There are the windows of Unit Two, the entrance to Crossroads and The Den, and the benches of Unit Three. The water balloon fight in the courtyard, walking around during long phone calls, and the joyous times visiting Spens-Black freshman and sophomore years.
To get from home to Berkeley via San Ramon involved the 405 to the 101 to the 680 to the 24 to the 13. The complete trip took 1050.5 miles with the drive back taking 8.5 hours including a stop at Taco Bell in San Luis Obispo. I collected Derek from Carpinteria.
I have a habit of showing up in Berkeley without telling people until immediately before I leave or calling them up when I am already in the city. Even more fun I sneak up on people and make casual comments standing right next to them. For example I asked Kim about the English muffin she was toasting at the Residence Inn on Sunday morning.
Below are the responses of people when I told them I was coming to the Bay Area and wanted to see them. The names have been removed.
Google chat conservation one:
My Friend: Howdy Christopher!
Surprise:
I will be in the Southern California area this weekend.
However, I do not know what I will be doing, but my parents will both be off work.
me: Surprise:
I will be in Northern California this weekend. :(
Google chat conservation two:
me: If you have time on Friday or Saturday, running into you would be nice :)
My other Friend: i work all day friday and i'm babysitting on saturday :(
Phone call person one:
I am in Big Sur this weekend with my girlfriend celebrating our anniversary. (Congratulations on five years!)
Phone call person two:
I just got off a plane in Orange County where I will be spending the weekend.
Phone call person three:
I am at home taking care of my Mom and Sister who have the swine flu. I think I am coming down with a flu as well.
Sean, my friend from high school who attends Boalt:
I left a voicemail message, several calls placed, and spend time outside the apartment where he lives.
That is half a dozen people.
On a more positive note, I saw a few people on Saturday. Being at Kim's (not to be confused with the aforementioned Kim) watching the football game with spirited people was fun, even if the game was sad and disappointing. I bought a couple of books at Moe's. I went to the 9:30 on Sunday morning and Fr. Al recognized me. Then I went to Cafe Durant with Josh and Derek.
Going back to Berkeley always drudges up feelings. I go to places I spent countless hours at and traverse the streets I crossed hundreds of times. It seems I used to know someone who lived in an apartment on every block. Everywhere are memories of events, people, and a life that is far removed from me. There are the windows of Unit Two, the entrance to Crossroads and The Den, and the benches of Unit Three. The water balloon fight in the courtyard, walking around during long phone calls, and the joyous times visiting Spens-Black freshman and sophomore years.
To get from home to Berkeley via San Ramon involved the 405 to the 101 to the 680 to the 24 to the 13. The complete trip took 1050.5 miles with the drive back taking 8.5 hours including a stop at Taco Bell in San Luis Obispo. I collected Derek from Carpinteria.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Since there were two phone calls today
It is time for some practical advice on what to do when your internet connection is not working. Today two of my Mom's friends called to ask questions about how to fix a broken connection. The steps are straight forward and worked for both people, even if one of them did not call back to say it was working and be thankful for the solution.
Step One: Unplug the power to your modem (the box where the TV or phone line goes in and the cat5 computer cable goes out).
Step Two: If you have a router (the box where all the cables for different computers go), unplug it.
Step Three: Wait thirty seconds and reconnect the power to the modem.
Step Four: Wait for the lights on the modem to return to normal (usually all the lights are solid green) and then reconnect the power to the router.
Step Five: Wait for the lights on the router to return to normal, then retry the internet connection.
It is important for the router and modem to be off before reconnecting either of them. I have learned about this from personal experience on the telephone talking to Comcast service personal while dealing with irate roommates. Why someone was angry at me when it was not my responsibility to manage the internet is another story.
Also in the practical knowledge category, I have another drink recipe.
English Highball
1 oz brandy
1 oz gin
1 oz sweet vermouth
Fill with club soda
Step One: Unplug the power to your modem (the box where the TV or phone line goes in and the cat5 computer cable goes out).
Step Two: If you have a router (the box where all the cables for different computers go), unplug it.
Step Three: Wait thirty seconds and reconnect the power to the modem.
Step Four: Wait for the lights on the modem to return to normal (usually all the lights are solid green) and then reconnect the power to the router.
Step Five: Wait for the lights on the router to return to normal, then retry the internet connection.
It is important for the router and modem to be off before reconnecting either of them. I have learned about this from personal experience on the telephone talking to Comcast service personal while dealing with irate roommates. Why someone was angry at me when it was not my responsibility to manage the internet is another story.
Also in the practical knowledge category, I have another drink recipe.
English Highball
1 oz brandy
1 oz gin
1 oz sweet vermouth
Fill with club soda
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