A Retreat and a Subpar Weekend

Several weeks ago I went on a retreat at church.

For those of you who do not know, I have been on many religious retreats. I started counting and came up with over a dozen that lasted more than one day and more than I can remember that were day events. I was also involved with planning a couple of them.

Now back to the most recent retreat titled Christ Renews His Parish. It is an established retreat program that started in 1969 and has been used by Catholic parishes across the country.

Evaluating, not experiencing
As the retreat started, I evaluated everything in it from an administrative point of view. I was thinking how I would change things to make it better. I compared every part of the retreat to experiences I had on other retreats. This was bad because I lost some focus on experiencing the programing myself. However, in almost every area I came up with a suggestion for improvement. The small groups were sized too small, the group leaders did not facilitate effectively, the talks were not properly connected to the activities, the activities were unexciting and repetitive, and the list goes on.

At the end of the weekend many people said it was one of the best retreats they had ever been on or even one of the best weekends of their lives. It ranked near the bottom of retreats I have been on. Now a few points about the good and bad.

There was a gap between me and the other people. On the other retreats I have been on the leaders and other participants were my own age. During this one most people had children and I could not relate to anyone's comments about their relationships with their wives or children. One of the three other people in my group went to Cal; he was a student when Pappy Waldorf coached the Golden Bears. While that is awesome, that makes him at least 50 years older than me.

This age gap leads into one of the strengths of this retreat; the talks from the team were great. Compared to other retreats I have been on, these people had a lot more time to mess up their lives and draw meaning from their mistakes.

I went to the sacrament of Reconciliation also known as confession. It was the oddest Reconciliation I have ever been to, but also the best. My sinning has been reduced in measurable ways (at least so far). In another context I wrote a few comments on the Reconciliation if you are not familiar with it.

Continuing on
The retreat experience did not end on Sunday. On the following Wednesday and every Wednesday night for the next few months the retreat participants are invited to participate in a sharing and discussion focused on the readings that will be used at mass on Sunday.

While the retreat weekend was less than average for me, it had a good effect on me for the following weeks. I am being nicer and more considerate of people. They gave all the participants a Bible and we had to use it for a few of the activities. I was inspired to open it up and read almost everyday for a couple of weeks afterward.

The other participants were positively affected in the days after the retreat as well. When things became difficult at work or home, many people said they remembered the retreat and did not lose their temper.

This entire retreat process has some good ideas in it. However, they need to be expanded and executed better. They are looking for people to help plan the next retreat. I want to be involved, but I have to find the right balance between conflicting impulses. I want to rewrite the book for the retreat, but I also want to be humble and learn more about how they do retreats before suggesting big changes.